Ecstasy
by El Burrito
Summary: Peter comes face to face with change. SxR


**Written for prompt 4 at barefootboys on eljay:**

This is the very ecstasy of love,  
Whose violent property fordoes itself  
And leads the will to desperate undertakings  
As oft as any passion under heaven  
That does afflict our natures.

**William Shakespeare, Hamlet II.i**

The door was locked.

Once, it had never even been shut. Sirius' apartment was their apartment, his empty fridge was their empty fridge, his takeaway boxes were their takeaway boxes. His bed was… well his bed was his bed, but his lumpy sofa was their lumpy sofa. At any hour of any day there'd be at least one other Marauder in there, feet on the coffee table and laughter brightening the cramped flat.

Even after Lily had taken James from them, and he'd only dropped by every few days from his own flat and generally called ahead, it had still been home to them. He still had a pair of shoes by the door in case they were called suddenly by Dumbledore, and Peter often made sure that they were next to his own. Despite the huge amounts of food Lily made to try to tempt him to stay there, James would gulp down Sirius' day-old take-out with delight. Even Lily's deceptive beauty and manipulation were no competition for his mates. Locking the door would have just slowed their constant coming and goings.

It figured, though. These were dark times. There were people out there after people like them. The day before, Peter had been approached by a group of Death Eaters, and threatened with death for his cooperation. He'd never been more scared in his life, but somehow, something from all the time he'd spent with Sirius, James and Remus must have sunk in and he'd refused. He'd escaped by running for his life, screaming, and had spent the last 12 hours curled ratform in his room, down the hall from his mother's bedroom, unable to relax for fear they'd be after him. When they hadn't come, he'd ventured to Sirius' apartment.

He was proud of himself. He'd stood his ground, _and _he'd been considered important enough to be pursued by _Lord Voldemort. _Just the thought made him feel bigger than he ever had before, and his pride outweighed his fear as he hurried through the streets to Sirius'.

He fished around for the key he'd never had to use before and let himself in, his fingers shaking with anticipation with the news he had to share. The tiny living room and kitchen were empty, but it wasn't unusual for Sirius to sleep until mid-afternoon, particularly after a mission, so Peter pushed open the bedroom door, already gushing, "Sirius, you'll never believe – "

Sirius never found out what he'd never believe. Peter stopped wide-eyed, Sirius staring equally wide-eyed back at him, over the curve of Remus' bare ribcage. Remus twisted around, looking equally dumbfounded. The silence stretched on. Sirius was the first to speak.

"Pete." His voice was rough, surprised, "What are you doing here?"

He'd never needed a reason before. Ever. "What are _you_ doing?" he squeaked.

"We were just." Remus looked to Sirius.

"I'd have thought it was pretty obvious, mate," Sirius said quietly.

Sirius had never spoken quietly. Sirius shouted and hollered and exclaimed. Sirius threw things and jumped on things and stomped over things. Sirius didn't lie calmly in bed beside Moony, _their _Moony, _his_ Moony, only Sirius' Moony now. And Moony's Sirius. Like Lily's James.

Peter's entire world, all the security he'd ever had, were yanked away as Sirius pulled the sheet a little higher over Remus and himself.

"Oh. It is." Peter turned from the room, sickened and on the verge of tears, and hurried from the flat. He took his shoes from beside James', and walked calmly out onto the street.

If they'd have looked out the window, Sirius and Remus would have seen him stopping to talk with two men in black robes. But they saw only each other's pained, uncomfortable glances.

"Well that was," Sirius started.

"It had to happen eventually," Remus agreed.

"He'll be ok, though, right? I mean… he's our Pete."

"Sure," Remus nodded, not at all sure. "I mean, he loves us, right?"

"Yeah," Sirius assured them both, "yeah."

And that was the problem.


End file.
